DontEvenReply.com

Original ad:
I am in need of a reliable and SAFE driver to take my 10-year-old daughter home from after-school soccer practice starting in September and ending in late November. She needs to be taken from school in Exton to home in Bryn Mawr. It should take about an hour each day. You will be needed Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Fri. Looking for a safe driver with a clean driving record. E-mail at ***********@comcast.net with references. We can discuss compensation. Thanks!

From Me to ************@comcast.net

Good afternoon.

My name is Mike Partlow and I am very interested in this job. I have a lot of experience driving under dangerous conditions and guarantee your daughter will arrive safely at home every day.

If you are still looking for a dependable driver, please write back.

Sincerely,

Mike Partlow

From Kate ******** to Me
Mr. Partlow (can I call you Mike?),

I still am looking for a driver. Good to know you can handle dangerous conditions...but there probably will not be any dangerous conditions; you are just taking my daughter down Rt 3.

Tell me about yourself - are you a professional driver? Do you have any references from past jobs? What kind of car do you own? Is it reliable?

- Kate

From Me to Kate ********
Kate,

You can call me Mike. I was never one for formalities.

A little about myself, I am 37 years old, and worked as a mercenary driver in the Middle East. I have escorted important clients through high-risk areas in Iraq and Afghanistan for five years. I have seen a lot of action, and have ensured the safety of my clients. Out of all the jobs I have done, 90% of my clients arrived at their destination unharmed.

I have several references. I'll have one of them e-mail you.

My car is very safe and reliable - perfect for your daughter. It is an armored 2007 Chevy Suburban. All glass has been replaced with multi-layered ballistic glass capable of stopping a 7.62 x 39 bullet dead in its tracks. The doors, roof, and floor have been reinforced with ballistic steel/composite that can withstand IED blasts and stop grenade fragmentation. This car has been put to the test and will always deliver.

Safety and protection is my #1 priority. The car is fully loaded with an HK416 assault rifle that fire under the toughest conditions. The roof has a 40mm MK-19 automatic grenade launcher turret installed. Hopefully we won't have to use it, but it is good to have. I can't tell you how many times I've had to return fire against an enemy APC. I assure you that nobody will mess with your daughter as I escort her home from soccer practice.

Now lets discuss pay. I have various security packages I offer, and for your daughter I recommend my medium package which will run you $200 an hour. I also have a minimal package which is only $125 an hour. It is entirely up to you.

Let me know,

Mike Partlow

More...

-DontEvenReply.com

Seriously Big Blocks of Flats In China

According to Emporis, there are 7,650 skyscrapers in Hong Kong, which puts the city at the top of world rankings. Thirty-six of the world’s 100 tallest residential buildings are in Hong Kong. More people in Hong Kong live or work above the 14th floor than anywhere else on Earth, making it the world’s most vertical city.

-Boredpanda

Des peintures murales pour faire l'éducation sexuelle

«Focus on your studies, stop dirty thoughts.»

Murals teach Tanzanians to practice safe sex by avoiding parties, sugar daddies and big butts.

-Globalpost

Mmmm... «fuck your fascist beauty standards».

8 Worst Breakup Stories

A Taiwan carpenter bought a porn DVD only to find secretly taped motel footage of his wife having sex with his friend, whom the husband later stabbed.

-Oddee

Sex Advice From Johnny Knoxville

What’s the best thing about having sex with a Jackass cast member?

Johnny Knoxville: It won’t take that long. You can have the rest of your day to do whatever you want.

-Nerve

This is German disco group Hot Blood with their 1976 album Disco Dracula. This album combines my love of bloodsuckers and shitty novelty disco. Of the seven tracks most are standard upbeat disco, but a couple of tracks like Sex Me and Even Vampires Fall In Love amp up the sex factor while slowing down the tempo and come off sounding like they should've been featured in Dracula Blows His Cool or some other racy vampirical smut from the late 70's.

1. Baby Frankie Stein
2. Even Vampires Fall In Love
3. Soul Dracula
4. Sex Me
5. Blackmail
6. Dracula Goes Dreamy
7. Terror On The Dance Floor

-ManchesterMorgue

La Noire à l'avoine de la Chouape récolte l'or à Strasbourg

(Saint-Félicien) Après l'«ambrée Amère», Voici que la «noire à l'avoine» de la micro-brasserie La Chouape décroche la médaille d'or au Festival Mondial de la bière de Strasbourg. Pour une deuxième année d'affilée, une bière brassée à Saint-Félicien séduit les papilles des jurys et se distingue comme étant une des dix meilleures bières au monde.

-LeQuotidien

World's Wackiest Holidays

From the largest annual tomato fight in Spain, to Scotland's "Up Helly-Aa" fire festival, a look at those special days when people around the world go slightly nuts.

-Time

10 Brutal Judicial Punishments from the Middle Ages

It’s a sad fact that humans can come up with endless disturbing methods for causing pain, but it is, nonetheless, a fact. These days, we worry about poor treatment of prisoners and deal with things like how much food they get, the sort of health care they get, their housing, etc. — but things used to be very different. People accused of crimes just a few hundred years ago didn’t go through anything we’d call a court by today’s standards, and they certainly weren’t punished by anything so meager as “time served.” These are the 10 cruelest and most unusual punishments from the Middle Ages and some are so gruesome that they’re more likely to show up in a horror movie than a history book.



-Rawjustice

Temps mort

On nous promettait la civilisation des loisirs, on a eu droit à la culture du temps qui passe. Et plus le temps passe, moins on en a pour le passer.

Il est moins une. Mais la vie se facture à l'heure. Il faut gagner du temps pour avoir encore le temps d'en perdre.

Un passe-temps, c'est du temps passé qui ne repassera plus. Du temps perdu qui ne reviendra plus. Du temps écoulé qui ne sera plus.

-Urbania/Cyberpresse

Histoire de peur

Katy Talbot et Catherine Geraghty ont fondé la Société de recherches paranormales de Québec (SRPQ). Ensemble, elles «viennent en aide aux personnes qui sont aux prises avec des phénomènes inexpliqués». Lire: elles chassent des fantômes. Sceptique, on les a suivies le temps d'une enquête dans une maison soi-disant hantée. Histoire de peur.

-Urbania/Cyberpresse

Creative Bus Stop Advertisements

Bus Shelter Ads Are Always On. They work for you 24 Hours a day, 7 days a week.

-Boredpanda.com

The Chessboard Killer

Russia had never seen anything quite like the prolific serial killer Alexander Pichushkin, for whom “life without killing is like life without food.” How many lives did he take? More than Jeffrey Dahmer, Jack the Ripper, and the Son of Sam combined. The terrifying thing is, no one—not even Pichushkin himself—really knows for sure

-GQ

Ça risque d'être brutal

Jackass 3D a en effet réalisé 50 millions de dollars de recette en un week-end, prend la 1ère place du box office, réalise le meilleur démarrage depuis Inception en juillet et le meilleur démarrage pour un week-end d'octobre. Loin de lasser, les gags et dangereuses prouesses de ces clowns atypiques parviennent encore à déplacer les foules. Mélange de comédie, de cruauté, de prise de risque, de mauvais goût et, surtout, de grand n'importe quoi, Jackass le film ferait-il particulièrement écho à l'état d'esprit du moment ? Un certain ras le bol, un besoin d'en rire, et si possible quand ça fait mal, de ne rien prendre au sérieux, de tout foutre en l'air ? Jackass nourrirait-il finalement un besoin anarchiste (en 3D, bien sûr)? Si oui, il est probable que le film connaisse un certain succès également dans nos contrées.