In contrast with the notion of lust as a spontaneous drive that hits us out of nowhere — the sudden I-need-to-get-busy urge familiar from passionate Hollywood make-out scenes — Basson had noticed over the decades that her patients, particularly women in long-term relationships, often take a while to get warmed up. Although it was consensual (they were indeed interested in slowly initiating sex with their partner) they didn’t feel physical, sensual desire until some sufficiently pleasant erotic talking, cuddling, touching, or even fantasizing was under way.
“We see women who say, ‘When I get into (sex), everything’s fine. I just don’t have that hunger that makes me yearn for the next time,’” says Basson.
- The Cut
